Signs of the Apocalypse #2

There has been a lot of crappy things going on lately and it's hard to keep up with each and every sign of impending doom, but in this post I'd like to comment on one signal that has been going on continuously and quietly for quite sometime. I'm referring to, of course the American Election season and the people who come out to celebrate it.

Quick: React to these words.

MAVERICK.

PORK-BARREL

HOPE

CHANGE

SCROTUM

Okay, so the last one was intended to trip you up, but if you've turned on your television as of late, you've probably gotten your fill of these words. In fact, if you're still alive after reading that list, you'd probably like to kill me, but have you been watching the American political process as of late? In the infancy of our country this all seemed so...romantic, I would say. Guys with powered wigs wearing stockings would stand around in awkward poses until they came up with revolutionary solutions to overwhelming problems.

We're not leaving till we think of a better name than the 'Suck It Declaration'

These guys were serious, just look at all of 'em. Legs crossed, one knee slightly bent, you just don't see posing like that anymore.

Seriously, is anyone going to even try?

But even worse than the loss of the stocking clad-bent knee gentlemen is the loss of the whole 'romanticism' of the American political process, and I'm afraid its a sign of oncoming apocalypse.

Maybe its because none of us were around back then (except of course John McCain) but the politics that gave birth to our nation seem to carry a certain mystique. Federalist papers, Constitutional conventions, Ben Franklin boozing in the back of Independence Hall, these moments are what we think of when we think of 'America', but now that vision has somewhat dissolved. We no longer envision crowds of wigged men rapping a diatribe of political philosophy from a tree stump, instead we have the campaign stump speech. 

It's a less than original alternative. You write it once and then refresh it depending on what town you're in that day. Bus stopped in Detroit? Get that specialty Red Wings jersey out. Plane just landed in Cincinnati? Be sure to mention how much you enjoyed the chili you had last night. Made a campaign stop in Rhode Island? What the hell are you doing in Rhode Island? It's the same gig no matter where you go.

But we're not focusing on the speeches in general. There is a specific part of the campaign speech that points more directly towards doom and that's the crowds surrounding each party. And we're not limiting this to Democrat or Republican, we're going to look at the stupidity on both sides that is, unfortunately, spreading.

Does anyone remember the coordinated 'booing' ever happening? I'm a young guy, so its possible there used to be pretty rowdy crowds when FDR would roll onto the stage, but in my recent memory I don't recall crowds being so...rehearsed. I first noticed it watching a Republican stump speech, but I'm afraid it has spread over into Democratic speeches as well. The crowds are getting so rowdy it had led to some Secret Service investigations into DEATH THREATS. Yes people, death threats. I think we all get annoyed around this time of the political season, but threatening to kill someone to end it all might be taking things a little too far.

Both of these campaigns seem to be inspiring a blind allegiance that's pretty scary. Obama has inspired a legion of largely young voters who seem frustrated with politics as usual. They see Barack as a 'change agent' and that's for good reason. Listen to the man speak. Feels good right? The guy could talk paint off a wall. The McCain campaign got a similar boost from Tina Fey look-alike, Sarah Palin. She's suited for politics like a lapel pin, but the blind allegiance these candidates inspire at these rallies isn't really helping anyone. What we need is the political discourse, the thought, the powdered wigs. We need the best possible solution right now, not a campaign stump speech, not a flashy or confident leader, and certainly not death threats...not yet at least.

Unfortunately given our political system I think all we're going to receive is more of the same, which is almost definitely a sign of the apocalypse.